Dearth of worthwhile television comedy programmes in India

I don’t remember when I last saw a real comedy programme on Indian television. What you have are slapstick, stand up vulgar programmes that makes only the people in the studio laugh. I have not seen none of the viewers differentiating Comedy Circle in Sony with that of Crime Patrol in terms of expressions. 

Let’s take the case of Comedy Circus in Sony. Many believe it is a success. This can be gauged from Colours channel which copied both Comedy Circus and Crime Patrol theme from Sony. But the levels of comedy in these shows are so floundered sometimes you wonder why are these shows produced? In Comedy Circus, the stand up comedians copy the two judges, script writers, producers and directors of the show so frequently that you get completely bored of it. And who are these people who get spoofed? They are not known to any viewers, they don’t have any standing in the entertainment industry. To make sure the audience doesn’t disconnect from the show, these unknown people are invited to the stage after the show is over. The way Bharati Singh, Krishna, Sudesh and others perform, it seems, we have dearth of good script, good humour, good satire in our country. What remains is mimicry.

But this also brings to the core issue of quality of our own viewership? Are we destined to view these third rated shows? Do we have a choice? In the west, you switch on a genre and choose comedy and you have a lot to choose from. A majority of Indians, despite having hundreds of channels, have to depend on Comedy Central, Just for Laughs etc even today. Sure, some enterprising producers tried making copy of these successful series but failed miserably.

The matter of fact is television is a one way communication. What the TV produces, we have to see. I have no other choice to express my discontent other than switching off. But then the TRP meters are so tampered that you will end up high on rankings. Is there anyway, we can immediately protest a bad programme so that it is booted out before its scheduled end? I am sure technology will bring some solutions.

The Annoying Facebook Home

When Facebook Home was announced by CEO Mark Zuckerberg as the “next version of Facebook,” I was keen to get it on my Android version. After all it could solve everything social. The day it was put on the Play Store on April 12th, I tried to install on my Note II. But I got a message the product was not available in my country. HTC One X, HTC One X+, Samsung Galaxy S III and Samsung Galaxy Note II are the only devices where you can use this. I waited till it got released i
nternationally and got it to my phone.

But this was not what I expected. My facebook friends are both close and distant friends, class mates, colleagues and a few other social animals. In activation, I saw photos of people whom I know only remotely, making appearance on my screen more often that I would have wanted. The shifting from Facebook Home to the Application bar was not smooth and I had to adjust the application bars to suit Facebook Home. The text messages were annoying. I thought I would give it a try for a fortnight.

Nothing went well the way I imagined Zuckerberg would have made this. There was Google Now similar to this which again I didnt like. Both failed in my devices because I am staying in India where nothing is organised. The time to work, home, temperature etc are all horribly wrong because Indians are not used to what Zuckerberg had imagined. Even on a sunday, Google Now alerted me to go to office and said my office is just 6 minutes away from my office. The temperature it showed was far different from what it was outside.   On Facebook Home, photos and status updates of innumerable friends whom I normally dont ever bother to see were popping up with cut and paste messages from great authors. There was no way I could customise both FB and FB Home differently. I thought of getting the feedback of those market where this would have got targetted.

But to my surprise I found the Google Play rankings dropped considerably. out of the 1 billion active FB users, only 1 million downloaded FB Home. This I consider is an utter failure. I am fully aware Home is not available in all handsets but then also consider thousands who may be annoyed like me.

Yesterday, I deleted it from my Note II. Post deletion, I feel I have been liberated. I still have Google Now on both my iPad and Note II as well as Xperia Ion. It may not be too far before I get rid of that too.

Is it a mystery that Gujarat do not have its own Press Club?

Gujarat Media Club was celebrating its seventh fruitful years of completion. With no government support and only a handful of PSUs coming out to help the association of ‘influential’ journalists, the event was a landmark in itself. I have been associated with it since the beginning and last two years as its Secretary General.

Among the invitees- which included top bureaucrats, ministers, economists - there were a few retired journalists as well whom GMC had honoured a couple of year back. Basant Rawat, one of the GMC Members was given the task to personally invite each one of them and if necessary arrange transport. Except one, who was in the ICU, everyone came. One of them was Umesh Narain - a respected journalist by talent. Basant, who went to his home to invite him wrote to me - “ the condition of Umesh Narain is very painful, pathetic , he  lives  in wretched condition- very scary picture of a former journalist. However, he  was very happy and   honoured to get the invite..  He will come on his own, though we will have to arrange to drop him back at his rented house in Shahpur.” At around 8.30 PM, he asked Basant whether he could go as it was not possible to get a transport late in the night. Basant in turn asked me if I could arrange some transport so that he can stay back and have dinner. 

I promised to arrange a transport or get it done by myself but send him back to the auditorium from the exit door. At 10 PM, when the food counter opened, he was struggling to get a plate. All the current journalists were jostling to network with one or the other VIP. A few came with their own so called VIP entourages and stuck to them. But I saw Basant - who may have felt ashamed of the humiliation this 75 year old journalist was suffering at the hands of a roaring public out to attack the food counter - helped him out. 

As he was having his food - all alone - I was frantically searching for some cars which could get him dropped. It would have been an insult to him if we had hired an auto and pay the fare. I asked a few but their cars were full. I asked those whose cars were presumably empty but they said it is too late to do this ‘hard’ job. So I turned to one of my own friends - whom I had invited and not a journalist - to do the job of dropping this senior journalist home. He was more than happy and readily agreed. 

At 10.20 PM, Umesh Narain left Karnavati Club Golden Glory hall on a Mercedes-Benz B Class.

Why I am narrating this entire episode here is the utter disrespect we do to talent and the more than necessary attention we give to those who are nothing but sycophants of one or the other power circles. This is precisely the reason why these relations gets converted into personal ambitions leaving organizational aspirations to bite the dust. The web of this disease is spread across the state. The very fact that despite six decades of Gujarat’s existence, despite our ambition to build the tallest statue, gift city, biggest solar generation plants and compete with developed world - it is a shame we dont have a space for Press Club. In other states, you dont need to ask for it. It is given on a platter. Journalists belong to different organisations and the fourth estate has to meet and network with each other for various purpose. It is a different matter that most of these clubs are now big bars. 

Here it is not the government which is at fault. It is the selfish motives of individuals and inflated egos that has dented the existence of Press Club. Conventionally this would have gone for long had some people - irrespective of their own standings or ideologies - not come together and made an entity called Gujarat Media Club. Officially, the club have its own committee members decorated with beautiful names. Some have never bothered to attend a single meeting leave alone reciprocating the invite. While a few others do attend the meeting and throw a handful of ideas each time. When the meeting ends, the bury their ideas because they cannot execute them. So much so that people who have worked for the club reached a point of saturation. A situation of hopelessness. Something like the Congress Party office where there are more leaders than workers. There is not a single journalism institute in the state that can carve out good journalism students. There are hardly any opportunities now in the state. Who is responsible for such apathy? None else than the journalists themselves.

A press club is an amalgamation of journalists and all those professionally engaged in the production and dissemination of news to come together, meet frequently, share their ideas and get a sharper governance. Well, this is my definition and not Wiki’s. This definition may be full of verbs but in actuality no action happens. There are no amalgamation of journos happening here. No one meets each other. And we hardly strive to get ourselves tuned to give a tough time to government to deliver governance principles. 

Even in smaller towns - as remote as Jhabua - you have a local press club. This is the forum where people can come, sit and express their opinions so that if found fit, their voices can be heard by everyone through a mirror called newspaper. But when mirror itself becomes see through, there is no scope for such voices to be heard.

In Gujarat - to achieve such an objective is a distant dream. Only the rich can afford to speak their mind, promote their ideas, introduce their products. You need a polished PR firm or a person to get a good audience. You need some incentive to get it published. For the poor or for those who speak for the poor - Gujarat has no place - both literally and physically.

And even if they arrange with their own expenses, there are hardly one or two journos. When some important functions or events happen in your city, even a city tabloid is not interested to cover it. Because you dont have a place to sit and prick these shortcomings, newspaper editors and owners do what they want.

During my reporting days, I have been to almost all the major press clubs in the country because those were the places where I could barge in and get connected to the local fraternity. It made things so easy for someone like me who is not very known by face. When a journalist comes to Gujarat, he is lost in a vicious circle. It not a mystery anymore why the state is lagging behind in the culture of journalism, press clubs.

Typed and uploaded from my iPad. Regret errors and omissions

Obituary of my 20 year old bike

This morning the Security Supervisor brought a Kabadiwala to my office as per my request to find one. The Kabadiwala introduced himself as a Marwadi and he was briefed by my intermediary on the purpose of his visit. He later clarified his surname was Marwadi and he  was not boasting of being one.

The reason why he was standing in front me with a feeble look and carelessness towards a television set behind him which was beaming live speech of Indian Finance Minister was very emotional. I was parting with something that was with me for the last 20 years. It came to be in 1993 and exactly 20 years later, I was emotionally detaching from it.

No, dont come to any conclusions. It was my bike which was no more in use since the last year or so and I had no choice but to condemn it. 

The Bike that I used for 20 long years is no more with me. Condemned

The price on offer (olx and quickr doesnt accept these type of bikes right?) was Rs 2000. There was no point in bargaining. I fixed the deal. But there was a catch. The bike is registered in my brother’s name for the sake of getting a loan. In 1993, the loan scenario was reverse to what it is today. We had to chase banks to get a loan. The paper work was so huge that sometimes I wondered how Indians are so laborious to be taking so much pain. Me included. I got a recommendation from a bank manager to pass the loan quickly. Today the loan is passed before the bike reaches your home.

Now to add insult to injury, my bro got shifted to Mumbai and he insisted he will take the bike and register with Thane RTO. I did the paper work with a local RTO agent here in Ahmedabad and got the transfer papers. We transported the bike to Mumbai. Carelessness has been the hallmark of my bro and keeping his standards very high, he craftily lost the papers before he could register the vehicle in Thane. And yes, to rub salt to injury, he left for the US leaving the bike in Mumbai. I took it back to Ahmedabad with great care and started using it gleefully. The sudden separation for a few months had weakened me mentally and physically. I lost 3 kilos in bargain trying to start the Bajaj Super that I had. I tried to re-register with Ahmedabad RTO but I was told I need a certificate from Thane that it was never registered there. So as all Amdavadis do, I tried a short cut. I approached a friend of mine who stayed near RTO. He in turn, approached a purportedly agent who roamed around the RTO for petty works. He told me to prepare an affidavit instead that the bike did not get registered anywhere in India. I did it and got it signed from my bro in the US. I gave the book and affidavit to this guy whose name I dont remember now. For the next one year, neither my friend nor me had any idea where this guy was. Ultimately we came to know he was caught by the police for some petty crime and was in Jail for close to an year as un under trial. He seems to have thoroughly enjoyed his stint at the jail as he was explaining everything about his colleagues at the jail. But he was not mentioning my ROC Book. He promised to return it next week.

The next week never came and he kept looping in and out of jail and I lost contact with him altogether. I was left with a photo copy of the book instead.

“Sir, the papers,” Marwadi quipped in breaking my quick flashback. Instead I offered him an undertaking which he agreed with both hands, eyes and legs. I asked for his identity and he gave me his PAN card which started with a word Acharya. “Yes sir, I am a Brahmin,” he responded to my querry on difference of names in his visiting card and PAN Card. Caste and religion plays a major role in any business, I know but I would have given the bike to him even if he was not a brahmin. 

He gave me two thousand rupee note and I handed him the key, last time I was touching the key which used to rub shoulders with my body for couple of decades. It was worn out but still shining. The steel in it had disappeared and it now looked past its prime. But it had the capacity to take me farther. 

I made him sign the papers that any eventuality hereafter anything happens with any parts of the bike - including usage in any blasts or accident etc - I will not be responsible. I translated and read out to him. He nodded his head again indifferent to various fiscal deficit measures P Chidambaram was announcing behind his back. 

It was time to bid the farewell. It was parked at my office. For the last two years, my office boy used it for official purpose. But then the burden on him for repairs increased and he gave up and bought a new one. I preferred not to see it for the last time. With tears in my eyes, I handed him the key and asked it to be taken away. By evening or latest by tomorrow, it will be broken into pieces and melted.

With full condolences to the bereaved bike, my memories goes back to the era when bike was a luxury. It had transported me from nook and corner of the city to intra city rides very comfortably. Not once it had ditched me. Was always loyal. The tyre that we race are the tyre you buy is an MRF catch line. But not once the tyres were changed. Wrinkles were not visible at all and there were few internal injuries as well. 

Today when I see the planes of Vijay Mallya vanish in thin air, petrol pumps of Reliance disappears immediately after construction, value of human beings eroded, huge scams unfolded I remember the loyalty this bike had given me. At the time of departure too, the bike was smiling and was youthful and charming. Why I didnt keep it for archeological value will always remain a mystery with me just as the Godhra training burning or Akshardham shooting. 

And by the way, I am left with no bike now.

How a noose got a PM candidate out of the headlines

The morning newspaper headlines did not surprise me as I had it known much earlier about Afzal Guru hanging through the obvious medium - online media. I guessed this as a part of a strategy by some shrewd Congress brains to take the shine out of the much hyped news headlines about a person who got anointed as the Prime Minister of India - yes, by a few cronies and a big chunk of his fans and social sphere.

I have had many chances of writing about Narendra Modi. Many of my penning are not in his favour according to the minority readers who read them. Some one quipped. Why are you choosing Modi and not any other person to vent your frustration. I ask myself at the end of each musing whether I am venting my frustration? Why should I? I dont think so.

When a person develops a following, it swells in no time. Take the example of self styled godmen. Most of these godmen are real estate brokers who mediate with government under the garb of religion for their spiritual disciples - which could be individuals or corporate. Controversies after controversies about them with solid proof do not deter their fans from believing the opposite. On the contrary, they see it as a work of devil. The same applies to political leaders who are no less than these godmen.

Let’s start with the sovereign republic of Gujarat which competes with India in all spheres especially foreign direct investment. The state’s next competitors are US and EU. It is led ably by one of the biggest success stories of modern India, Narendra Modi. He is more popular than Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. He has taken all credit for Gujarat’s development except the one achieved by Gandhi - country’s freedom.  So the question is why he is not eligible to become the Prime Minister of India. Why do people like me have a problem?

Historian and Sociologist, Ramchandra Guha states in a column "In a lifetime of travel through the States of the Union, my sense is that Kerala, Himachal Pradesh and (despite the corruption) Tamil Nadu are the three States which provide a dignified living to a decent percentage of their population."

So does this mean Gujarat’s people are not living a dignified life? You come to any city in Gujarat and you will not believe in what Guha is saying. But you go any any interiors and you will tag Guha immediately. But is this phenomenon only in Gujarat? Are other states faring well? Actually the answer is no. But their CMs are not trumpeting as well.

There are more critics to this view point than supporters. One Journalist who has authored a book on Modi's politics says " as usual Guha is trying to make a case against Modi...prejudice is reflected ... that Modi is able to nullify the campaign is something big..though one can have strong reservation against Modi. Does he expect modi to do charity in politics"

One of  Modi’s biggest advantage is that he succeeded a person as CM who has no idea or understanding that his successor is claiming all the credit that happened during his tenure. E-Governance was never started by Modi. In fact very few journalists have made any attempt to verify the fact that Gujarat has much better e-governance than Andhra Pradesh. Whereas AP had connectivity upto District level, Gujarat has upto Taluka level. Keshubhai Patel under whose tenure this happened had no idea what all these were about. But he nodded when his babus told him that this would make land records and other government work much efficient. Bombardier, which makes coaches for Delhi Metro has been in Vadodara without the then CM knowing that the credit would be taken by the future CM.

Take the case of Chandrababu Naidu who stole the limelight with just one project - e governance. He became the CEO of Hyderabad(not Andhra Pradesh) within no time and continued to be the darling of IT companies for long before people realised he sold a dream than reality. Keshubhai on the other hand could not get the mileage though he had much better system in his state than Naidu. This is clever marketing.

But marketing without substance is not sustainable as Naidu realised. So what is Modi's achievement? He wounded something called caste factors in Gujarat in an attempt to eliminate it. Partially he succeeded. His personal clout and aura among the middle class transcended caste and to an extent, even religion. I live in Gujarat and is more a Gujarati than a Malayali. Most friends call me a Malayali Vania because of the entrepreneurship levels and the risk taking capacity that I have and which I completely dedicate to the soil of Gujarat. Every single work here is achievable. Every government contracts are easy for those who are closer to political circles. On the surface, there is no corruption but beneath the surface, you see a practical approach. 

And I am not discussing one of the most discussed topics - 2002 riots. This illustration will best summarize why I am not doing it. A friend of mine who got hit on his face in a petty quarrel filed an FIR against the hitter. Later, they settled the case. But he told me once if given a chance, he will hit the other person first and he will never forgive him nor forget the incident. The same person always argues with me that 2002 is history and discussing it a decade later is utter waste of time. The victims should forget and forgive everything and move forward. If he cant practice it with a small hit on the face, how does he expect for those whose near and dear ones got wiped out for no reason.

But as we all are forced to believe, all victims have forgotten everything and participated in Sadbhavna. They have moved forward. Those fighting for them are the people who are trouble shooters now. Let’s not get into it and forget that 2002 ever happened.

I always counter people who refer to Gujarat's roads as a shining example of the state's development. But I have never been able to convince them that these roads are just tip of the iceberg where majority of people travel. In most areas, there are no roads at all and those which can be called roads are under severe stress. In addition, as Modi himself has stated, Gujarat is a rain deficient state. Without rains, the roads are always in good shape. Just take some state highways towards Bhavnagar, Una, most of Saurashtra and South Gujarat interior places where roads are the responsibility of state government. Seeing is believing.

Yes, the same applies to Modi’s tactics as well. He has successfully put the negatives under the carpet and trumpeted the positives. Every other chief minister has done much more or equal to what Modi has done but they dont have twitter handle, their own blogs and a host of ghost writers to assist or a Vibrant Gujarat like summit where MoUs are the norm, not the flow of investment. So seeing is believing and he has shown every one what he can do in a virtual world. As Thomas Friedman said in his recent article, there is a sizeable number of Middle class and an equal number of Virtual middle class. Now both these classes are die hard fans of Modi.

In a democracy, when you vote for a leader, you expect a person to be the leader and not a dictator. Being authoritarian is not bad at all. In a democracy, meek leaders with no authority are held with contempt by his own officers. You have to wield authority but not to the extent of being understood as an emperor. As if one Congress is not enough, do we need more emperors and empresses in India?

I am sure you must have spelt this out at SRCC when Modi said the metro train you travel “uske coaches maine bheja tha” (I had sent you the coaches). You can use this only when you own a state not when you are elected to run a state.  

Democratically elected leaders instill confidence and oozes welfare measures to the masses. Because they have to get re-elected, marketing the efforts taken during their tenure is also nothing wrong per say. But they do not put fear factor into their oratory. 

Accepted that a human who possess all the good qualities cant be human but a super human and finding such a personality among the human race is impossible. But such people cant run countries or states. Also having good qualities do not necessarily make a good politician. The best example is our own prime minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh. Take his experience and his knowledge level and he is distance above the rest. But did you get these qualities in his governance? No is the clear answer. 

Modi is also not above this. He has his own weakness and his biggest is his party which stands between him and prime minister candidacy. Those who praise his governance should look at the Vice Chancellors of universities in Gujarat. They are political stooges not even qualified to be even office boys of standard educational institutions. By doing so he virtually killed skills and education level in Gujarat. Today you dont get a single employable youth because of this trend. All other educational institutes that he takes pride of - CEPT, IIM, NID etc - are none of his creation that he can take an iota of credit. Let’s not discuss the human development index at all.

Today’s leaders - after a short stint in power - are intolerant to constructive criticism leave alone destructive. The first and the foremost reaction from all of these regional leaders is to shoot the messenger. The ban on Kamal Hasan Movie is a classic example of how Modi can be omnipresent in various forms, in different areas under different guises.

On the other hand, we should realise that slowly and gradually we are moving towards a mirage democracy. In a democracy where everyone has a right to do whatever he wants is not helping the country is what a majority of people believe. This is exemplified from the Delhi protests and Hazare agitation. Both these miniature Arab Spring versions did nothing for the country except uniting the unknown and giving strength to people like Modi. 

I was watching the 18 year old young guy who appeared in NDTV studio the evening Modi addressed SRCC and introduced himself as the person who organised the event. He was sold out to people like Modi. He is already a Modi worker and I believe he will work for BJP(If Modi keeps BJP intact) for the rest of his life. He, along with Sunil Alagh, was talking sense but not facts. The SRCC principal was highly indebted to Modi saying he wrote to 11 leaders including cabinet ministers and Modi was the first to reply - within a few hours. Of course, you set up the platform for him to speak at Delhi and why should he say no. Try it again. Invite him with subject ‘Sectarian violence in the modern world and how to deal with victims” and see if he responds positively.

To understand why such a huge number of people are addicted to authoritarian leaders, one need not go anywhere else but right here. Take the case of Sahara which built an empire just out of political connections. To make the slate clean, they imbibed India’s biggest religion into their stride - cricket. See the audacity of the group which has consistently defied Supreme Court orders and basks in the glory of resources they have in the power corridor. 

The very fact that people of this country still believe in the notional figures that CAG has thrown into the arena as losses in various scams goes on to show that we are not brought up to question the authority but to believe in what ‘Mai Baap’ preaches us. Those who questions are mostly eliminated politically, socially or physically.

Any anti-development articles - especially by authors like Arundhati Roy - are sure shot reason for betrayal of this country. Take the case of Kanubhai Kalsaria - the man who dared Nirma with strong and valid reasons. The ever arrogant Nirma group retreated. But his own people defeated his mission. I am not saying he is a saint. But his terrible defeat in the last elections by the very people for whom he fought for is something to ponder. This reveals a dangerous trend. If you want to stand in the election, just get some factories in your area. Oppose it at your own peril. So development at any cost is the key, not progress.

One should differentiate between progress and development. Nehru was progressive while Modi harps on development. The snake charmer comment is an insult to the makers of modern India. As if he made it possible for this conversion. Today’s generation have no idea about the way country developed. How territories got united and culturally and linguistically different people stay together in the name of this country called India. 

But we are trained to bask on hype, believe on half cooked truth.Take a look at the report by Centre for Monitoring Indian Economy (CMIE)  which did a research on the investment statistics flaunted by the Gujarat. It says the figures released by the PR machinery of the state have no basis nor is supported by documents. The only place you get these information are from the government of Gujarat website which CMIE says “in most cases the website does not provide the details of a valid company name, location, product, and capacity’’. It is the practice of corporate to announce even a small achievement. 

But why do those corporate houses which signed MoUs worth trillions are reluctant to show off? That’s because they will face shareholder wrath if they disclose this publicly. Signing an MoU at VG Summit is now reduced to a PR exercise for these companies. So any questions asked on these? No, we do not have the culture of debate. We have the culture only to obey. 

The natural reaction to these type of observation is obvious. Pro-Congress, pseudo secular Sonia stooge. One must realise you cannot escape this blame which is as old as the Kashmir Pandit issue being thrown over those who question Gujarat riots. In India you dont have space for free and intellectual thinking. 

Random Musing - Not meant to be an intellectual piece. 

Funny Facts, uncanny revelations: Part I

Many a times, I note down some facts immediately after some of my friends speak, tweet or Facebook them. I do this on my Tab using a SwiftKey keyboard (available free to Android users in Google Play) with advance predictive texts. At times I contradict myself and many a times I also correct myself because I believe in what I write but I cannot guarantee that every one subscribes or believes in me. Here are some of those noting I recently did starting with first to last in no chronological order.

 1. I use Google all the time for information and statistics but the credit never goes to Google. My fault. But then Google freely picks it up from various authors, none of my fault. The least I can do is to give a courtesy to Google Search.
 2. It is widely perceived that Dr. Varghese Kurien created Amul. But Gujarat CM, Narendra Modi recently claimed he did and further to this, he also claims to be carrier of this milk to the doorstep of the current prime minister. In fact you should not be surprised if he says it was he who created Adam and Eve and people here will still believe it.
 3. Rapid industrialization and unrelenting doling out of fertile land to industries have left cattle – revered here and hence even killing them is not permitted- without food. The state government still claims they are doing cataract operations on them so that they can have long vision beyond fertile land to find food.
 4. Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel was a Congressman. But half of India thinks he was a RSS worker because we now have a Chotte Sardar who compares him to the real Sardar.
 5. Majority of Indians think the staff at Comptroller and Auditor General Office (better known as CAG) a Chartered Accountants. Reality is that they are not even graduates.
 6. BJP and the rest of India think Sonia Gandhi is a shrewd politician with master strategies up her sleeves. Reality is that she doesn’t even know what you call politics in Hindi and can’t even speak her mind out leave alone making a political plan.
 7. A better part of Congressmen think Rahul Gandhi should take up the mantle for Prime Minister. The matter of fact is that India elects its leaders and a family cannot permanently claim to be the monarch of India and thrust a leader on its people like what kingdoms do.
 8. Rest of India – barring Kerala – believes people from Kerala speak English well. But on the contrary, it is difficult to find a Malayali who can speak a single sentence without mistakes.
 9. Indians – barring Kerala, Tamil Nadu, Goa and North East – believe all Christian women wear frocks, selects Julie as universal name. Men are always drunk, have Robert as name in perpetuity and uses phrases like Hey Man in all the sentences. You need to look at the septuagenarian Indian Hindu ladies settled in US and UK to change this perception.
 10. Gandhians and a few others believe Gandhi fought for removal of untouchability. In fact he fought to defend ManuSmriti – a script written to enhance untouchability - a reason why Ambedkar and Gandhi never got along each other.
 11. Average Indians are of the opinion that Scheduled Caste and Scheduled Tribe are the same. The fact is Scheduled Tribe have never been among the untouchables. They were deprived of their basic rights because they were poor and Scheduled Castes were deprived because they were low caste. Government clubbed them together and 90 percent of the benefits went to SC and Scheduled tribes are still in the same condition as they were.
 12. People who are in General Category believe Dr. B R Ambedkar is responsible for reservations in India and so most of them don’t respect him nor gives credit to him for giving us constitution. But very few have the idea that his vision was to phase out reservations within a period of 20 years and bring the lower strata of the society with that of the higher one. Successive governments played spoilsport and not only kept reservation alive but increased its quota for vote bank politics and see where we are today.
 13. The opposition and Left parties believe FIIs were just waiting for opening up of FDI in retail so that they can just rush in and dislodge all kirana stores the way Mughals did in their prime. The fact is that there are very few who may utilize this because India is not the right destination for them now. A couple of Starbucks or Walmarts will not change India’s landscape and create jobs in hundreds.
 14. It is a common belief that Balasaheb Thackerey is out and out anti Christian and anti Muslim. But see the facts. His most trusted driver for decades is a Muslim. He has helped non-Hindu aspiring students with admissions than with Hindus. His elder brother’s son was a hard core Christian pastor who died recently in Jharkhand. 
 15. Those who have never seen Gujarat believe the state have only two qualities- Godhra and Narendra Modi. But the fact is that the state is the most enterprising place just behind Israel, UK and the US (Gujaratis always compare themselves with big sizes) is not known by many. Two out of three businessmen in this country are from Gujarat.
 16. Gujarat is vegetarian place with prohibition in full swing. Reality check. Gujarat has the largest coastline in India and hence most catch of fish are from here. People relish chicken anywhere but their own home depriving their family the nutrition they deserve. But they are all exported. Booze is the biggest past time in the state with 9 out of 10 homes having a mini bar at their home itself. Nowhere else booze is home delivered and that too at a flat 30 minutes of your money back.
 17. Egg is non vegetarian? Wrong. In some states it is vegetarian because people who consume these eggs are primarily vegetarian.
 18. Modern Indians believe Adivasis have captured forests and destroys them. In fact it is the other way round. The Indian state formed Forest Department in 1960 and captured Forests from Adivasis who nurtured and kept forest and its produce as sacred. Since the state captured it from its aboriginal owners, the forest cover has got depleted by as much as 70 percent and its flora and fauna as well as its animals got into endangered list.
 19. Narendra Modi, in his entire career as CM, has hardly spoken in Gujarati, his mother tongue and the language that his audience can understand. He chooses to speak Hindi instead. The reason being he is targeting television cameras and not the people to whom he is addressing at the venue. Most of his speeches are never about Gujarat, the state which he is governing, but on national issues and on nondescript leaders of Congress.
 20. Youngsters today believe having an MBA degree is their stepping stone to success. But the fact is that it is tough to do a post graduation in commerce (M.Com) or Arts(MA) than an MBA, the holders of which are now working in menial jobs – unless they got upwards with raw talent.

Typed on Galaxy Tab using SwiftKey with two of my serving thumbs one of which is now injured. Not structured nor edited. Read at your own risk. I thrive on contradictions, bouquets and brickbats. So let it fly. 

Should we now depend only on Judiciary?

A judge named Jyotsna Yagnik, in Ahmedabad, may not go into record books of Guinness or Limca for she has not done anything record breaking officially. But for me what she has done is to repose public faith in judicial system her single biggest achievement.

Unfortunately this also means the executive and legislature have failed to deliver. Every matter is now referred to courts. I wonder why we have all other institutions at the first place.

I stopped reporting these events years back. But I still go through the reporter’s agony in such scenarios. The very person who was elected to represent and protect the area is convicted of doing exactly the opposite. The very people who thought they will be protected by the executive for following blind orders of anarchy were left in lurch while their masters tasted power. 

It was a heartrending scene at the court premises to see families of convicted crying helplessly. If only they had given an afterthought of what they were doing ten years back, they could not have seen this day.

If I was in Modi’s place, I would have come in public support to these convicts because these are the people who put me into power and I just cant wash my hands away. Even if I had to sacrifice power and my personal pride, I would have stood my ground. That is what makes a real man. If these people had not risked their life for nothing tangible in return, it was their ideology and faith in me. I cant turn away from my supporters.

But who cares. Take for example the social sphere rhetoric of praising NM for the work he is supposed to do and for which we all elected him (we represents people of his constituency). Counter question is then why are his counter parts in other states not performing the same way?

This is where a big fat misunderstanding is. All heads of state wants progress in their state (along with their own personal progress) but then we don’t have the great people of Gujarat elsewhere. In a state like Kerala or West Bengal projects are held up because people just do not cooperate. So who are the real heros in state’s development? The state leader or the people of this state?

But at the same time, we fail to see the flip side of this big industrial development or casually ignore it. Either way, ignore at your own peril because it will come to haunt us today or tomorrow. Largesse and heavy subsidies to private sector comes at our cost. Tata Nano is manufactured at a place and on power that the people of Gujarat have paid but the profits go to Tatas. The big expansion of Gujarat as an auto hub is nothing but paid by the people of Gujarat. Normally in such cases, the income gap between rich and poor increases leading to social unrest.

Then the second logical question is to see the Roads in Gujarat. Very few know that these highways projects are made with negative grants where a private conglomerate pays money to government to build these roads. In most cases government obliges with land acquisition at lower prices and subsidized rates and when the highways are built on Build, Own, Operate and Transfer, one thing that does not happen is transfer. There is no transparency on how long can a company own that road. It becomes a private property on which we pay toll eternally. Who would not like to get such contracts? Since other states dread to take such decisions, their roads are primitive as government coffers are empty to even repair leave alone build new roads. Private contractors benefit, big conglomerates benefits more and the biggest beneficiaries are political parties or political figures. And a big group of supporters pat Modi on his back for this big loot.

So the next logical question comes whether I am a Congress supporter. Sadly I have to say a big no because they are the real architects of this rotten system. They are the living Aristocrats of India whom many think are born to lead the country. Even if Rahul Gandhi is a misfit, he is prodded to be the PM by a certain section of people.

One more question I may face is whether I support people who wave Pakistan flags or vandalise places of importance. The answer is that I owe my loyalty to this country and not any individual like many of my friends who put personal interests and personal idols more than country’s interests. We will continue to have people who do vandalism. It is a law and order problem. Regarding their loyalty, I would say if they have not yet realized the plight of Muslims in their own land, then they only will repent.

Hinduism is a word coined by Arabs who dealt with India early on. I don’t expect people to agree on this. Then everyone beyond Hindu-Kush Mountains was called Hindus. This is our real heritage and this is the reason we call ourselves as Secular and not because we have different religions here. The caste system, superstitions, religious hatred, child marriage, Sati, astrology, black magic, patriarchal system were all our invention for which we should not be proud of.

So everyone who chose to be here are Indians. The problem that we have in India is too much freedom. A type of freedom that a person can go and vandalise a monument of national importance. Another person can ask this guy to leave the country on the basis of their caste, religion or colour. If there was a regulation on this and if there was a fear that such acts will not be tolerated, this will not happen. A classic example is Dubai. 

Most importantly one should understand that criticizing is not treason. It can only build and strengthen the weakness that we have within ourselves. 

So when the entire world knows for what and who orchestrated 1984 Sikh Riots or 2001 Gujarat riots, why not own up and take the moral responsibility?

These are my personal thoughts put as it flowed. Not intended for reproduction.

Raise your hands those who love your country

What is patriotism and love for your country? To be very frank, I have no answers. To a select few sharing a picture of National Flag and threatening to either share it to 50000 people or face the consequence of being called a traitor is patriotism. To others, singing Vande Mataram is patriotism. What exactly is it? How do you express your love for the country without doing all these flimsy exhibitive actions? 

But what is not patriotism can easily be defined. Provocation is certainly not a sign of love for the country. And we have enough of those which is done under the guise of patriotism. How can Pakistan become the native land of Indian Muslims? How can Israel become native land of Indian Christians and same mantra goes for other religions too. The Indianness comes in being a thoughtful  person far away from divisive ideologies, flimsy and decorative thinking and being a caring human. This is patriotism for me. 

But I dont see this too often. In the recent Mumbai protests, what was the reason to turn violent and destroy public property in a silent march? It is the prerogative of MNS to do that and they have full copyright for any such acts. The biggest insult came in the form of young boys desecrating Amar Jyoti Memorial dedicated to people who sacrificed for our country.  To add insult to injury, there was a Pakistan flag among the protestors. 
It is disgusting to see such acts. Muslims in India are at the receiving end merely for the reason that they are following the methods adopted by people in countries under the occupation of western forces like Afghanistan, Iraq etc. Unable to fathom the atrocities by US and its allies, terrorism was rooted. Let them fight. 

What kind of patriotism are the Indian Muslims subscribing to? I am a firm believer in universal truth that humans have to co-exist, co-educate, co-operate and co-die. To say that miscreants have infiltrated into the Mumbai crowd and vandalised something of national importance is something naive. To say that no one has seen waiving a Pakistan flag in nothing short of a joke. 

No wonder, I see a lot of posting on social networking site and TV discussions asking a certain section of society to prove they are patriots. Unless otherwise proved, they are traitors. I was awestruck when I saw a Malabari Muslim in Kerala wearing a short pyjama and a long kurta replacing the dhoti and shirt they used to wear – replicating the North Indian style of attire. Why should you do this? Why cant a Kerala Muslim live like a Malayali? Why should he follow some one who is fighting in Iraq or Afghanistan or Kashmir? Just to show solidarity?

No. I think the problem is deep rooted here. The culture of a local area or region is the hallmark of a person living in that particular area. Indians have never learnt this. Wherever the Indians are they try to make a short district of their own culture in that area alienating local culture. This happens with every community. Building a place of worship may not be a problem but then putting your morality and bias on that area becomes a problem. Jains do this wherever they live as they try to clean up the area of vendors selling products they dont eat while Sardarjis try to do this by bringing back the same vendors because they are more into eating than anything else. Muslims try to do this in some regions while Christians are also not far behind. 

Part of this goes to the Social Media and the technological environment we live in. Ideas gets generated and circulated and implemented by mobocracy even in democracies. Now take a look at the passion on which the Mumbai story happened.

Read this blog first

In this blog, Faraz Ahmed who describe himself as a tech blogger, Web Designer and Electronics engineer who loves to share his ideas did a research to find out fake pictures are circulated in Social Media to whip up the passion. This is the same method used by Modi Followers to whip up passion for him. The other group just followed.

But again, how can someone not use their brains and do not trust their conscience and instead falls prey to false propaganda in the name of religion. There is something wrong somewhere in our education, our upbringing and our culture that we do not listen to our own minds. 

The moment you listen to your own mind and use your own brain, you will realise the problems around us – in our society, in our community, in our state, in our country. Just have a look at them and think and you will automatically turn a patriot. The real patriot.

When faith and trust of India's youth is a memory for me

I have completely lost faith in this country, its youth and its future. Yes I am referring to the next superpower called India. The way we are moving now – in tandem with all the primitive methods – I am unable to fathom the modernisation and educational levels.

Not that I am better off nor do I represent India's youth the way Chetan Bhagat does that I am expressing my opinion. Not that the India envisaged by Modi and his Free Public Relation fans in social networks that I subscribe nor oppose to. Not the mute and deaf undeterred and stagnant India Congress and BJP envisages that I can ever think of nor do I want to even in my wildest dreams. 

But a country that is run by scoundrels but inhabited by intellectuals. Yes, this is  deliberate and pun is intended. I will explain how. Politics is not a common man's job. If I want to clean up a place, get rid of problems around say half a kilometer radius, it is impossible for me. So how on earth am I going to get into any type of politics. So it will always be run by people who are more capable and smart than me. Let them do it. In the middle of last decade, I thought of a resurgent India where the youths of this country will put apart the riddles of Hinduism, revoke regional chauvinism, create social awareness and march ahead with what Amitabh Bachan shouts on the promos of KBC – Sirf Gyan hi aapko aapka haq dilata hai.

Well, I think he is preaching it at a wrong time. Today these same issues which I thought will be a thing of the past are its peak. People with biggest gyan are flirting with impractical thoughts and even impregnating it within themselves championing activism that can only end with a big Aryabhatta discovery. 

So much have been written about Anna and Ramdev that if I write anything again, Google will stop SEO of these two words for ever. But allow me to put two sentences. These two people are asking for moon is an understatement. I dont understand why the educated youth of this country cant realise that corruption is a human problem deep rooted in culture and not a government issue. Why they subscribe to Anna View that it can be switched off like a television remote is what has put me to deep shame. Second is black money. I scratch my head on this demand without a possible method. There are somethings black money cant buy. For everything else there is Baba and Anna. 

It is more of a joke on this country that precious time and policing energy is wasted on utopia. If I live up to my grand children, I will make sure I tell certainly use this as a sleeping pill for them the way toddlers are made to listen to Ba Ba Black Sheep. Thank you for your patience to read the often repeated things about Anna and Baba. Let's come to the real point now.

I thought, I am odd among the big thinking society but when I shared this with some like minded people, I realised, they have exactly the same way of thinking. I may be wrong because the data that I relied on mostly comprised of Social networking updates where the so called big intellectual minds stay. The villages and people with real intellect may have got missed from my radar for which I am expressing my regret. There could be some hope left in these places, I really dont know.

How far we can go in maintaining a Colony?

Last night, a meeting was called by LH (the place where I stay and proud of it) Members to discuss the roadmap ahead. It resulted in chaos and ultimately no one knows what we should do next. This has happened because a two year contract by the builder to maintain the property ended and they have posted their interest to continue if everything is in the same order as before.
Many of us are too much inclined towards the past and not seeing the future. Most of the members are interested in the nitty gritties of previous years and unable to fathom the grave situation ahead of us if we need to keep the place well maintained.
The only question we should ask from the previous accounts is the amount of Transfer Fee which is shown as a meager amount. The rest was part of the purchase cost and we need not dwell into it.
Ideally Pacifica should have formed a Managing Committee of the so called Service Society consisting of members of LH and ask their consent as to who should manage the facility. Now there is a peculiar situation. We pay a monthly sum but we still cant have a say in it. We employ people to look after the facility but we cant control them. We pay from our nose but we cant see its proper utilization. This is completely against the logical wisdom.
I still would like Pacifica to manage the facility but as a contractor not as a boss of the members. Ideally all the money collected should go into this Co-operative society and all service contractors should be paid by cheque signed by the chosen members of LH and not Pacifica.
But this is not what we are discussing. We are more concerned with taking grudge against people. One person who has two cars but one parking and was told to park the second car outside was heard saying we should get Pacifica out. Just because it serves his purpose. A few others were screaming as if some major accident has taken place. And most of the members, without realizing this personal grudges, are succumbing to unwarranted mercies.
We still have people who do not adhere to the basic code of conduct but talk as if they are the biggest disciplinarians. Now a days all sundry are entering the gate and all guests are welcomed inside by the members to bring their car and park anywhere they like. Members themselves who doesnít have additional car parking are enjoying parking anywhere at the cost of those who paid for it. 
As members it should be our responsibility to take care of the place where we live, and not the builder. If Pacifica is interested to keep the upkeep, we are pretty happy about it but the methodology should be logical. Now who will listen this?
I think we have a notion about our professional abilities. All humans have this and even I am no exception. Last nights tu tu main main was a classic example of this. 
But even if we are at the echelons of where our professional capabilities are, we may not be able to do something that doesn't come into our forte. We have CAs, Doctors, Journos and other professional people and this, perhaps, seems to be the nagging problem in coming to a consensus.
I don't have an iota of idea where this will go. But my only suggestion to the newly formed Block Committee is to see this problem in a pyramid manner. The biggest issue should be solved first followed by smaller ones.
In the midst of this, we should also thank Pacifica to have done a good job in the upkeep of the place. The entire debate is how to keep this intact, which is a compliment to the builder. Today we have a few groups - one which supports the builder, one which doesn't have a voice at all and a group which just don't want Pacifica to be in any matters. To make matters worse, a counter circular not to attend last night's meeting was also circulated - which goes against the basic ethics of democracy. Whoever has done that should have come and aired their voice openly.
All these groups works separately. It is sad that such a small number of people (perhaps 100 or less considering a majority are tenants) can't agree on simple things. Let's not make this as an individual issue. Everyone have a right to object but then majority prevails.