Spell Your Checkings

Spelling mistakes are nothing new to Indian subcontinent. After all English is an alien language here though the colonial masters tried to put in their best to reform. But even then the shop keepers try to put in as much efforts as they ever could: because this is a language that can communicate to a larger audience.One of the states in India that specializes this art is Gujarat. You find the best among the worst at the best of places. Colorful displays like Raju Tea Stole, Marshall Bekary Centre, Contat hear for Marrage Burro are some of the best versions available. And mind you, these are prominently displayed at market places. The guys at these stores stare at you as if they are proud owners of online Oxford dictionary. No wonder the Chief Minister of the state proposed introducing English as a compulsory language from standard one. But his efforts are not visible in the text books that is taught to the English medium schools in the state.

Consider this in the Standard nine social science textbook:

"India suffered from communal secularism, communal riots, and migration of Hindu and Muslims as gift in heritage."

Only the Chief Minister can explain what is the meaning of 'communal secularism.' In fact the state government should apply a patent for this. This is not the end of stupidity in the book. Here are some more.

India is a republic. It means the people elect the head of the State, i.e., the President.

At the time of emergency, India is almost turned into a single-handed government.

Secularism means that the states won't interfere in matters of religion, or they won't interfere in any special religion.

Not only the number of people is important but the level of acumen also counts.

The youth group is a non-productive part of the nation. They are simply the consumers of material goods and services.Men produce many commodities and services and are also the consumers.

Imagine the state making itself a fool by putting out foolish statements like this:

"The growth of population is more in Rajasthan, Bihar, Uttar Pradesh, Madhya Pradesh etc. So, the literacy is also more in these states."

The entire nation knows these are BIMARU states and have the lowest literacy in India. Perhaps, the BJP has chance in all these states and that must be the reason for this exception. With the type of English taught, no wonder the shopkeepers have their own innovative mode of writing English.

Different states speak different types and different versions of English. But there are some states which is only catching up now and Gujarat is one of them. Parents are now vying for English medium education for their children. Because of this craze, new self-financed schools have come up. They charge exorbitantly but the cash rich parents are under the impression that more the fee, better the school. So when the socialite women discuss the 'plight' of their children in respective schools, they don't forget to mention the fee they pay.Most of the urban elite studying in English medium in urban areas 'flee' either for 'higher studies' or take up jobs anywhere in the world except India. Most of them choose either UK or US for higher studies because their parents can afford to spend a fortune. They never come back. But the rural areas are not as lucky. Take for instance a place like Anand. It is one of the most prosperous districts in Gujarat. More than 70 percent of the Anand population is in the United States and those who are left behind are the daily wage laborers. The minimum wage rule does not apply here. The wage that a daily wage labourer gets at the end of a grueling day's work is Rs 22( 50 cents ) and ask for an increase of a single rupee, the landlord will replace them with tribal laborers who are available at half that rate.So what future can they envisage for their children even if both the husband and wife are employed?

Government is slowly and steadily withdrawing from its responsibility of providing education and leaving most of the work to whoever wants to plunge into. But none of the elite schools are interested in setting up a school in a rural area not because of their fault but because of the great urban-rural divide that India proudly presents internationally in exhibitions and in tourism maps. English is increasingly becoming a language that brings dignity and status. India is a country riddled with caste contradictions and for any Indian it is easy to identify a lower caste person from his/her appearances, colour, attire, attitude or language.But there are instances where the low castes have gone without being noticed of their caste on their sleeves just by being able to speak fluent English. In fact the higher caste people gets highly impressed with such attitude. They forget their caste differences for a moment initially and then forever gradually. This is precisely the reason the right wing Hindu organization RSS is not in favour of introducing English in early schooling. If a lower caste overtakes a higher caste person with his skills in English, that will be the end of the organization, its ideology and its mass base. Where will they get an army to fight for Hinduism against Mughals and Christians? Despite not being allowed to enter the Hindu fold, the lower castes still form a major chunk of the fighters that the RSS boasts of. The credit goes to either the RSS think tank or the fools in the low castes.Knowing English is not only knowing ABCD or its vocabulary. It is more about knowing the world. It allows you to peep into a world where there are no boundaries whether it is Internet or simply English newspapers or magazine. But unfortunately most low castes cannot afford education leave alone English education. The government have schemes that aims to bring the lower castes and the poor to the mainstream but the benefit is being availed by a select few who are super rich but still takes advantage of their caste factor. These few have ensured that the lowest among the low do not get the benefits from the government including that in the education sector.In a country of more than one billion, streamlining these problems are not going to be easy. And the first group that will oppose any change that could benefit the poorest and lowest in the economy or caste sector will be the upper crust of the lower caste themselves.So how can a brilliant student from a poor rural family go to English medium school? After so many permutations and combinations, there is only one conclusion. It is a foregone conclusion.
Binu Alex

Carnivorous Vegetarians

A large number of my Jain friends always insisted that I should serve them a non-vegetarian meal whether it is at home or on tour.
“Well, you must be having non-veg right from morning to night?” the mouth watering lips always put out this stereotype dialogues each time we met.
And being Christian, you must be enjoying your drinks daily – especially during Good Fridays and Christmas – it must be carnival atmosphere, the words indicated as though they were willing to convert.
And there are some more things that these souls believe we do as a Christian. First and the foremost is that all the women carry names such as Lilly, Julie etc (made famous by villain Ajit) and all of them wears mini skirts and starts addressing any one with “Hey man”.
The only time that I get relief from the onslaught of serving non-vegetarian food is during Paryushan. During Paryushan, which falls in August-September, the Jains observe fast for eight days for self-purification and self-realisation.
And during this week, to please a miniscule minority, each and every Gujarati has to observe fast.
It is a big relief that the Gujarat High Court has held practice of closure of slaughter houses in Gujarat during the Jain festival of ‘Paryushan’ every year is unconstitutional, thanks to a petition by Lok Adhikar Sangh which argued that it interfered with other people’s right to trade, earn a livelihood and personal liberty.
The high court has ruled that ‘‘closing down a business for satisfying the religious sentiments of a particular community cannot be said to be in public interest.’’
A division bench of G S Singhvi and Anant S Dave, which passed the judgement, has held that slaughtering of animals was an occupation, guaranteed under the Constitution, and did not fall under the category of ‘‘reasonable restrictions’’ which could be imposed on the fundamental rights of citizens.
The practice, since 1993, is defended by the government in the name of religious sentiments of the Jains.
Gujarati society is made up of many paradoxes. The first and the foremost is consuming non-vegetarian food. Then comes liquor and then comes education and caste system.
It is a known fact that almost all the males in Gujarat enjoy chicken, mutton and even beef in various forms available. Yet Gujarat is known to be a vegetarian society. Gujarat has the longest coastline in India and yet no sea food is available. A well kept secret is consumption of alcohol. Bottles that makes its way to the chute and from there to the kabadiwala bears some of the best brands of liquors – all bought at premiums from bootleggers. Yet Gujarat is a dry state. A state where you remain dry as long as you don’t have a contact with a bootlegger. Gujarat is one of the most industrious states in India. It has some of the best entrepreneurship skills and the best business school in India. And yet the level of English is so poor.

Though the High Court order is not going to stand the challenge Jains are planning in the Supreme Court, it has created some sort of an eye opener that co-existance is the key.

To continue

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People politics

This cartoon that appeared in The Asian Age makes a telling impact on the politicians in India today.

For long, we have seen politicians taking advantage of anything and everything that happens with or without their knowledge within or outside their jurisdiction. And this is the reason why Manmohan Singh said this in his Oxford address:

“The economics we learnt at Oxford in the 1950s was also marked by optimism about the economic prospects for the post-War and post-colonial world. But in the 1960s and 1970s, much of the focus of development economics shifted to concerns about the limits to growth. There was considerable doubt about the benefits of international trade for developing countries. I must confess that when I returned home to India, I was struck by the deep distrust of the world displayed by many of my countrymen. We were influenced by the legacy of our immediate past. Not just by the perceived negative consequences of British imperial rule, but also by the sense that we were left out in the cold by the Cold War.
There is no doubt that our grievance against the British Empire had a sound basis. As the painstaking statistical work of the Cambridge historian Angus Maddison has shown, India's share of world income collapsed from 22.6 percent in the year 1700, almost equal to Europe's share of 23.3 percent at that time, to as low as 3.8 percent in 1952.
Indeed, at the beginning of the 20th Century, "the brightest jewel in the British Crown" was the poorest country in the world in terms of per capita income. However, what is significant about the Indo-British relationship is the fact that despite the economic impact of colonial rule, the relationship between individual Indians and Britons, even at the time of our Independence, was relaxed and, I may even say, benign.”

We cannot forget the fact that development stopped almost completely as the British left India. In the last half a century, our politicians could never achieve what the colonial masters did. So they found out a short cut of changing the names of monuments built by the British.
If at all we measure the development by the number of fancy cars zooming around, by the television channels that have sprung up or by the trends that has changed for ever, it is the mistake in the eyes of the beholder.
We still continue to build temples, madarsas and Churches whereas we should have built faith, harmony and unity. So we have not moved a single step from where Jinnah once separated this country (or at least this is what some sections believe). We are still in that era and that is the reason the above toon is apt.

© Binu Alex

Labour Day Special : Rs 500 per plate

By Binu Alex

What is common between USA and DSK - United States of America and Divided State of Kerala?
I have very little idea of any other facts but one thing that is common is the high labor charges. My brother who is in US does all the work himself – from painting his house to changing car wipers. He says he cannot afford to call a labor because the labor charges are astronomical.
Well back in Kerala, I do the same. I am ready to pay this astronomical charge but there is hardly any labor available. This intensifies after you build a house. The electrician who wired the house is your electrician for life. No body else would enter your premises not because all the electricians are loaded with work, but because they have ideological current passing through them.
“Can you fix a fan here?” I was very nervous as I asked a person whom one of my relatives pointed as the nearest electrician available.
Electrical works in the house was carried out by another one – who stays 32 kilometers away. He refused to come even for finishing what he had left unfinished.
He got selected for the work among a list of five candidates applied because he happened to be a friend and a temporary partner for one of the relatives who called himself an electrician.
Partnership was temporary because it ended the day I called him for finishing the work. Living in Gujarat I never realized that people in Kerala are short sighted. As my house was nearing completion, these partners were loitering around day and night for securing the contract. So much so that they followed me wherever I ventured out. They were very courteous and promised reasonable rates. So ultimately I decided to entrust them the work.
And now I am right in front of another electrician whose looks penetrated me, cut through the wall behind me and landed at the white switch that people call ‘calling bell’.
“Who did the work here?” he interrogated me but I said not to bother and promised to do the rest of the maintenance with him.
“No, it will not work. Then you could have given me the work right from the beginning,” he followed this with local sayings that I did not understand.
Not even bothering to hear an apology from me, he walked past.
So without waiting for anyone else, I managed to touch the roof of the house and fit the fan. But I was not sure which wire went where inside the regulator. I left my electrical experiment at that point.
This trend followed in all the work – from civil, wood to fencing. No body except the original creator of the construction will come forward to work. The originals are unavailable.
And till today, I am trying to convince the originals the need to have a good after sales service. I also call them from my place, some 2000 kilometers away trying to keep them in good humour.
That is because I cannot afford to shoo them away. Unlike in the US where houses are built on materials that can easily be renovated or repaired, I have concretes instead. Here I cannot take risks.
And till this date, I am in search of the souls.

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