Shoe String Victims

Here is the list of victims of the latest craze of shoe hatred. The list is likely to increase in the year 2009 as the UN has declared it the "Year of Shoes"

Victims	Shame Level	Impact	Weapon Used	Action Taken
B S Yeddyurappa	Low	Low	Paragon Slipper	Forgiven
Manmohan Singh	Medium	Low	Worn Out shoe	Forgiven
P Chidambaram	High	High	Sarojini Market shoe	Forgiven
L K Advani	High	Medium	Worn Out shoe	Forgiven
Naveen Jindal	Medium	Low	Kolhapuri Chappal	Forgiven
Jeetendra	Low	Very Low	White Slipper	Forgiven

India’s ‘age old’ problems

India’s young and vibrant population will be disappointed to hear Gujarat Chief Minister, Narendra Modi’s predicament that Advani will be BJP's prime ministerial candidate in 2014 elections too.
Though he himself knows that this cannot be any way politically correct for him in his endeavor to get the Delhi throne, he has no choice but to endorse it.
But this brings attention to the ages of our politicians. Advani is 81 now and in the next election he will be 86. We all know that when people reach old ages, they begin behaving like children.
So can we give a country of one billion plus to be managed by kids?
Old age people have difficulty in walking which most of our politicians have. They also develop confusion and incontinence, which is true in the case of Advani and MMS. Both have the tendency to forget what happened in cabinet meetings.
They also develop balance, concentration and memory problems as well as urinary incontinence. This is nothing but a neurological disorder called normal pressure hydrocephalus.
In short you may soon see prime ministers and leader of opposition in wheel chairs. Don’t be surprised if they run the government from hospital rooms. They are better than those who run from jail rooms. Also do not be surprised if they trigger something crazy.
After all we have elected them. We had no choice for a younger alternative.

Vote with conviction, courage. Really?

“The political class always plays to the gallery. They get their votes from the poor, but the services are delivered to the rich.”
I finished reading this sentence this morning in a Times of India article stating the difference of approach of authorities towards the death of two school children. One a rich girl and the other a poor one. While television cameras had their OB vans for even the parents meeting in the Modern school for Akriti’s death, the poor girl Shanno was forgotten altogether by everyone including the media. Since I read this article, I must say, with the exception of a few sections of media.
But who are these poor who cast their votes? Why do they vote for candidates with such a poor record? No answers. More than 80 per cent of India’s stamp on ballot paper (or machine) comes from the poorest of the poor. The middle class, upper middle class and the elite class doesn’t vote. If they vote, their votes do not make any difference to a majority of the parties.
Though this is the fact of life, most of the amenities are made for those who have never seen a polling booth. Take the case of caste equations. While most of the reservations for Scheduled Caste in government jobs are enjoyed by the Upper Middle Class among the Dalits, the poor and the underprivileged are the people politicians vie for during election campaigns.
Do we have people with the courage and conviction to stop this reservation for those whose two to three generations have already reaping in the dividends of reservations and pass it on to those who could never come up in the social ladder? Not even Mayawati, the self styled Messiah of Dalits have the guts to do this.
So can these under-privileged Dalits raise a voice and take the steam out of the candidates? Yes, they can. But what is the alternative for them? India’s political system is built in such a way that any such move will be suicidal for any party.
Getting votes is a game completely different than any of us can even think of. In every election many forward looking and clean candidates come forward to stand as independents. Most of these lots are highly educated and doesn’t believe in any party ideology and hence they stand as independents. But they end up losing even their deposits. The Indian voters don’t have the maturity or will to vote for such candidates. They just sulk into the party politics bringing in another set of jokers.
So even if one has to choose with a difference with all the courage and conviction, we really don’t have a choice. Mind you, India is world’s largest democracy with very little choice.

So America, here we come

Joke of the decade

BJP president Rajnath Singh today saying if his party is voted to power then India would send troops to Pakistan to crush terrorism in the neighbouring country after taking international approval.

So America, here we come. Please move out NATO and other troops, India is now the new saviour of the world. Never mind, the country is reeling under severe poverty and inequality and ridden with caste and religious conflicts.

This is what happens when a regional leader, not fit to become even a sarpanch, becomes the party president of a national party. Kudos to him.

Shoe should have targeted Shivraj Patil

Frustrations very often ends in violence and sex so said a pauper somewhere in North Atlantic. But now a days shoes have become the symbols of frustrations. It happened in China and Iraq and now it is India. Sadly, none of the shoe stoppers were good at their aim. They all missed. But they did not miss the opportunity to attain international media status for their cause and for them personally.
And not to be far behind, the television channels jumped into the fray immediately asking viewers to type SHOES followed by Y or N depending on whether you got fainted by the shoe odour and send to 55555 and win hundreds of prizes.
But if I were in his place, I would have done this much before. Not to Palaniappan Chidambaram but to his predecessor, Shivraj Patil. And since I played a little cricket, my aim would have been better. Shivraj Patil would have put me to jail not for throwing shoe at him but for having damaged his wardrobe.
But this is not a good trend. You cannot just do this to your own home minister because his reply was not to your taste or what you anticipated him to say. A journalist is not a Sikh, Christian, Hindu or Muslim. He is a reader’s man and his loyalty should always be towards the reader and not to anything else.
Unfortunately, most journalists in India or for that matter most part of the world repeat this cardinal sin very often and what we get in the next day’s morning newspapers are all crap.
Praising the culprit in this case, Delhi journalist Jarnail Singh, for his "courage and bravery" in hurling the shoe, Sikh political party Shiromani Akali Dal even announced a cash reward of Rs 200,000 for him.
SAD behaves as if they are not in India and as if Jarnail hurled shoes at Pakistan home minister and not Indian home minister. They have done the most shameful act by announcing the cash reward. More regional parties emerging in India is putting the one India theory to rest.

RIP India.

Why should oil cos promote subsidized fuel?

I was wondering why oil companies should advertise for their products that they sell on a price less than what they invest to produce it.

India’s petrol and diesel is ‘famously’ subsidized or at least that is what the government says. But see this offer by Indian Oil

It has introduced ‘Car-in-a-tank’, an on-ground campaign at all IndianOil/IBP/AOD petrol/diesel stations (retail outlets) selling XTRAPREMIUM and/or XTRAMILE and/or Autogas and is valid from 1st February to 30th April 2009.

A customer has to do this

Purchase XTRAPREMIUM or XTRAMILE or Autogas, worth Rs 300/-
SMS ‘IOC Bill No.’ (Bill of purchase of XP/XM/Autogas) to 53636
Winners to be selected through a system-based random process

And the prizes are:

Maruti Suzuki SX4 - 01 Nos.
Maruti Suzuki A-Star – 04 Nos.
Maruti Suzuki M 800 Duo - 08 Nos.
iPod or equivalent – 500 Nos.
XP/XM/Autogas Rs 500 gift voucher – 1000 Nos

India is the world's fifth-largest consumer of energy with domestic crude production holding at just under 0.7m barrels a day. At a time when Rupee is depreciating, can the country afford to have an additional 9 to 10 per cent import bill on the crude alone?

Why should the oil companies promote their products at a cost to the government and in turn to the tax payers?

And now with Monopolies and Restrictive Trade Practices Commission (MRTPC) asking oil companies to clarify the quantitive difference between normal fuel and branded fuel, the scene has become murkier.

And complaints against Indian Oil and other companies in consumer forums have been on the increase. You can read some of them here and here

English language can be dangerous

As my next-door neighbour at the office jostled into the office with a request the other day, I presumed it to be something else than what he asked for. It was to draft a covering letter for his company brochure. He said he has prepared one but doubted whether he wrote the correct language. I said I could improvise if I get that letter forwarded to my email. He meekly surrendered and said he wrote none. I insisted he should write one and forward me to correct since I had no time to think of writing a letter for him – And I was not in the letter writing business at all.

Word to word correction was imminent. But what surprised me was the last line, which read something like this. “So sir, please allow us one chance to perform on you”.

I wondered whether he was in Phuket or running a sex racket. I could not fathom what he wanted to say and called him. He said he just translated from a covering letter he received from some of his clients and it was in Gujarati. It read – “Amne sevano ek mauko aapo” or in Hindi ‘हमें सेवा का एक अवसर दे ” or in plain English “Please give us a chance to serve you”.

But I asked him where this ‘performance’ angle appeared in a letter where he had nothing to perform at all. In the meanwhile, my office boy entered carrying with him an answer for a question that I asked him in the morning about a new office being built on the ground floor. “It is a Sabarkanta sir,” he said. Huh !, What the hell is that??

I then realized he wanted to say ‘Cyber Café’ and went on to get deep into one of the districts of Gujarat. Now coming to Gujarat, its Chief Minister’s English is also in the same lines. I consider Mr Narendra Modi in high esteem on this count because he doesn’t try to speak the language he is not very well versed with. But in global seminars, he has no choice to but read out the prepared text in English since there are too many foreign dignitaries.

In one of the Global Investor’s Meet, he described Gujarat’s e-governance project as largest IP based e-governance project in ‘Asia Specific”. I waited for him to repeat it again since it was me who termed this achievement for the first time in an article in Dataquest long back during his predecessors time. So actually it should be Asia Pacific and not Asia Specific. But unfortunately that word was not repeated again and so cannot confirm what he said actually.

English – not being the mother tongue for Indians – has a history of goof ups in India. There is nothing wrong not to know English. We go through a phase of surviving with many languages that we learn when we are aged less than 6 years.

Compare it with an American or English kid. He only knows one language and that is English. Now if you ask an American child to write couple of sentences, he will look like Mr Beans in a beanbag.

Consider an Indian child. If the child happens to be in Gujarat, then he knows Gujarati, Hindi and English. Many also know Marathi if he happens to migrate to Mumbai and if the child is from another state settled here; he knows at least two more languages.

Now that is the richness of Indian kids. So not knowing English is no sin. But pretending to know it is certainly a problem. If you happen to do that, then some body will ‘perform’ on you that you can easily avoid for the time being.