Loo liberates you, literally

Loo is not a common phrase in India. It is a common problem instead. It is shared by millions. No, not the loo but the problem. The United Nations estimates 2.6 billion people are without it and India's Rural Development Minister Raghuvansh Prasad Singh is investing $A3.79 billion in sanitation projects. I had the opportunity to do a number of features both print and audio on sanitation for various agencies I worked for. Fortunately none of the agencies were Indian because a problem in India is a problem for foreigners and not for Indians. The Gujarat sectarian riots of 2002 are not a problem for any one in Gujarat. It is a problem for people outside Gujarat. People across the world expressed remorse at this unfortunate happening, no body in Gujarat even bothered to look into it. No wonder these happenings makes interesting news for non-Indians.
During my early days of reporting, the state transport buses were the best way to reach wherever you need to reach. Undoubtedly, it still maintains that credo. To reach to the remote rural areas, these buses were my companions. I would take an overnight state transport bus so that I can avoid a nights stay in a hotel, would do the same that evening so that my two nights are in moving vehicles. In case of any delays, railway platforms acted as my suite. The benches and dogs were my companions in smaller stations. In stations like Mumbai, the local constables always would come and wake you up. But they avoid well dressed people. I enjoyed doing all these adventures. What I never enjoyed is getting a decent loo. My morning is incomplete without spending at least two English newspapers on a toilet seat. I don’t have that luxury in remote locations so I had no option but to approach toilets run by institutions like Sulabh International. I don’t know why they suffix international to their name but their approach was too local. Normally I would wait till the morning rush is over. But that never happens in a place like Mumbai and so I join the queue. I have a brief case with me and the toilet seat is Indian while I don’t have a newspaper to read. Your turn comes and you get in. You try to get a dry place to put your luggage and lo behold, the first knock comes from out side. Chalo Niklo, the guy with a stick outside would order. Hey, I haven’t even thought of even anything closer to loo and if you ask me to get out, what the hell I was standing for an hour’s queue. His problem is that there is another set of people waiting to get in. And as you touch your trouser zip, the second knock comes. Chalo Jaldi Niklo. I would not care. Instead I was treated with beats better than Jhankar beats. I would close my eyes and enjoy it as much as the audience enjoys in percussionist Sivamani’s drumbeats.I am happy to know that participants from 44 countries are grappling with health and sanitation issues and worse that I face in public places in a World Toilet Summit held recently in New Delhi. Sanitation problem endangers almost one-third of the world's people. I am also delighted that the top boss of the guy who used to order me, Chalo Niklo, founder of Sulabh International, Bindeshwar Pathak, opened the meeting by calling for a war footing in the effort to meet 2002 Millennium Development Goals. How far this is possible is a matter of debate.
It was one of the sanitation stories that I, along with a journo friend of mine, approached Mr Ishwarbhai Patel, Director, Safai Vidyalaya (The Environmental Sanitation Institute) in Ahmedabad. He takes pride in people calling him Mr Toilet. In the long conversation I had with him, a lot of information flowed. Interesting among them was his explanation about a design he has developed for rural folks. He explained in details how a person would defecate, the route on which the shit would flow and where it will reach. I was listening this with great eager and a little bit of bitterness. But his enthusiasm explaining this was more overflowing than the agony faced by the person early in the morning in any Indian village or a slum with a bottle of water in his hand. But before we began this, he had called up his peon and whispered him to bring something for us. We thought it would either be tea or coffee. In the middle of his explaining the road map from defecation process to destroyal, the peon came up with a tray. There were three ice cream scoops. We had great difficulty to even accept it not because we have diabetes but the colour was yellow. He continued to explain us how a person generates on average 400 grams of feces and 1.3 kilograms of urine daily. He then forced us to finish the ice cream before it melts. His story continued for another hour but we finished our ice cream within a minute.